Review of "The Slender Man" by Simon John Cox

Story Overview:

Adam Bradford is eating his breakfast in peace when he receives some unusual texts from his estranged sister. Within minutes the police are on the phone telling him his sister is missing. While trying to help the police in locating; Adam discovers his sister has been researching a creature that is unknown to science; The Slender Man. Is it this creature that is responsible for her disappearance or something normal? And will whatever has his sister come back for more?

Cover Page: 18/20

The cover of this book is rather chilling to the bone. As with most of the great monster horror genre, the best images are ones that don’t directly show the creature. This leaves the readers mind completely free to imagine it when they are reading the book and not spoiling any plots that maybe important later on. It is a shame that on the Kindle that the cover is not so well shown. But that is the limitation of the device and by this point the reader already has bought the book and had chance to appreciate the artwork.

Character (and their development): 10/20

The story centres upon one character with little interaction between him and other individuals. I was unable to relate to the main character. I couldn’t see why he left out details to the police, such as the three mysterious text messages he had in the morning or information at his sister’s house. Nor could I understand why he would allow a complete stranger straight into his sister’s house and then allow him almost free reign. There also seemed to be a complete lack of mourning for his sister or any kind of worry. I realised that it was established early on that they didn’t exactly get on, but I still would have thought some more emotional response to her disappearance and revelation of her fate would have had some effect on him.

I also didn’t particularly feel that the police officer was realistic. He seemed almost non-interested in the case and was going through the motions with the main character.

However what I thought was very good was the antagonist. The Slender Man was very well conceived and depicted excellently. I didn’t exactly understand his motives, but I think that adds to the horror of the story, that you don’t understand what is going on in its mind.

Storyline: 7/20

The storyline in its basic concept is classic: A loved one goes unexpectedly missing and someone goes looking for them. It is a great story that can win time and time again. However “The Slender Man” in my opinion is a story in which certain elements were missing or events didn’t seem to add up. For instance at the beginning of the book Adam doesn’t tell the police officer that he had received the three texts that morning from his sister, with little plausible explanation as to why. There is also the question as to the police investigation. I don’t understand why his sister’s house wasn’t searched for clues and how Adam was left in it without a police liaison officer with him or nearby.

For me at times I was asking a lot of questions on why wasn’t this done, why wasn’t that looked into and where is everyone? And it is that which tainted the plot for me.

Style: 8/20

The style has a mixed bag. On the one hand the final sequence is beautiful in the fact that it raises the tensions and the hairs on the back of the neck. But the rest of the novella was something that I found hard to read. Written from the first person the book concentrates on what seems at times as “I did...”or “I was...”. In one paragraph there were 5 or 6 sentences which carried variances of “I did...”. This left the storyline more like a list of activities than a description of events. To quote a famous author: “Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass” (Anton Checkov; 1860 –1904).

To be fair to the author, the first person perspective on anything longer than a short story is incredibly hard to get right. And I know that from my own writing and tough discussions from my editors. I think that if this had been done in third person then the whole novella would have been improved.

Spelling and Grammar: 15/20

While there were no spelling mistakes, the problems that plagued the style section above also made the grammar seem a little off.

Conclusion: 58/100

“The Slender Man” does have its positives. It has a great concept and a fresh new antagonist which is well thought out and portrayed brilliantly. Plus to the author’s credit he kept it sufficiently hidden until the final sequences that you will feel a little ice in your blood at the thought. I can think of several authors who would have let temptation get the better of them and reveal the monster too soon. But unfortunately I was left asking more questions than I had answers for and the repetitive use of “I...” left me struggling to read fluently through the novella. If you like a good monster and don’t mind this style of writing, then you may wish to give this a try. Otherwise you probably won’t.

With that said, I would caution staying away from this author. Personally I think that there is some potential in the stories he creates and perhaps that the first person perspective just wasn’t right for this story. I would be interested in testing one of his other releases, if they were in third person.

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Review for Sanctum Angels Shadow Havens Book 1 by Edenmary Black

Story Overview:

Pria is a half angel half vampire that has decided to run a bakery in the human world instead of living her life among her own kind in the Sanctum. One day when she goes to the bank she is taken hostage by a robber. During the events she meets Detective Joe Cafaris and falls in love with him soon after. In the meantime her stepbrother, Keirc has fallen in love with the daughter of a rival tribe’s leader, the ruthless Sebastien Galaurus. As the bank incident becomes better known Sebastien seeks out Pria to use her for his own devices.

 

Cover Page:  19/20

The book has a strikingly complex and yet simple cover art which entices the reader in to delve into the book and read the story. There is little to describe what is going on in the storyline, yet the attractive cover fills your mind with the possibilities and the title gives you some clue of what you are in store for.

Characters (and their development):  18/20

My first reaction to the characters was feeling a little overwhelmed. There were so many of them that at the beginning of the book I struggled to keep up. But as you get further into the book I found that the characters came into their own lights. Which is the brilliance of the author’s writing: every character, even the secondary ones is unique and cannot be described as characteristic. Every character has their own agenda and reasons for their actions that it seems like a bunch of real people.

I have to admit that Vampires and Werewolves are becoming too typical in literature at the moment, yet this author has put a completely unique slant on them that makes them feel fresh and a joy to read about.

What I thought was a problem was Joe and Pria’s quick fixation on each other. I sometimes questioned very early on how easy their romance blossomed. Their conversations can sometimes seem a little unrealistic, but they do move on the story swiftly. Plus characters didn’t seem to develop throughout the story but rather their character, motivations and reasoning remained constant.

Storyline:  17/20

Parts of the story line seem very reminiscent of Romeo and Juliet, but to my relief turns out to be a happier ending. I found the storyline to move along perfectly and the depth of the characters and their back stories and concurrent stories were brilliant composed so that while they started separately they all converged into one excellent ending.

Everything that the author writes was well thought-out so that it could contribute to the ending, but I did feel that some scenes were redundant as it had no part in the climax of the story. But generally I thought that the storyline was well conceived and executed and I applaud the author for their creativity in the story.

Style:  15/20

The style was the sticking point for me in the novel. I give the author credit that it was rather easy to read and because of that the flow of the story could continue. There were a couple of sticking points but nothing that detracts from the enjoyment of the story. My main issue is with the changing perspective in the middle of a section. Sometimes I felt that I was seeing two or three people’s thoughts in a couple of paragraphs with little to tell me that the viewpoint had changed. Also a lot of the later book is heavy on the dialogue, something which not the case in the beginning of the book.

Spelling and Grammar:  20/20

It is not often that I can say that I didn’t spot a mistake in the writing. And this is one of those occasions. So full marks here.

Conclusion:  89/100

This is an enjoyable story and if you are a paranormal romance fan I would certainly recommend this. However I warn that this is not a book for young readers, it is certainly an adult orientated book. The characters are unique to each other and other works of literature and the supernatural elements are fresh. The storyline is good which develops from a bunch of unconnected stories into a single story which does not disappoint. The love scenes are well described without giving too much details that the scenes seem too much like “adult pictures”.

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Review of "The Legend of Rachel Petersen" by "JT Baroni"

Story Overview:

Christian quits his job when he is passed over for promotion on the grounds of not being technical enough. Moving out of the big town he and his wife buy a house that is in need of some serious work while he starts writing a novel. His beginning efforts are ‘terrible’. But one day he stumbles across a gravestone, on it is the name Rachel Petersen. Christian decides to write her story, where she is a murdering ghost. But when the book becomes a best seller, Christian starts to imagine that Rachel is coming after him.

 

Cover Page:  15/20

The cover has lot of material on the front. The ghostly girl certainly adds to the atmosphere that the author is attempting to create, but the added extras of what I can only presume to be snow (derived from the snow in the storyline) adds to a cluttered cover. Although it will please some people, I don’t personally think it does the cover any good and that it detracts from what should be the main focus of the cover.

Character (and their development):  12/20

The characters are effectively portrayed, but I see little development in them throughout the book.  This could be the little amount of time that the characters have with the reader. Christian and his wife are really only in the beginning and the end, while other characters are only in the middle and neither set really interact.

My major concern is that you spend nearly a third of book investing your time into Christian and his wife, almost cheering him on to become a good writer. Then your perspective is changed to that of the Christian’s book characters and in your mind you are wondering how long you have to invest in these characters. This creates a poor relationship between the reader and the characters. But just as you get comfortable again, the character set changes, then changes back, before just for the end, you are back with Christian as he releases his bestselling novel.

Storyline:  16/20

The storyline, in which ever one you wish to concentrate on is not a bad one. It certainly has its uniqueness. In fact I would go as far as to say that with a little refinement to certain areas of the style and characterisation could turn this novel into the bestseller that the author writes about. Even the story within the story is good enough that a little extra would push it up.

I think the concern is that there is no depth to the storyline, nothing compelling the reader to keep reading once you get to the legend of Rachel. Instead the story is driven by whether Christian will or will not become a successful writer and how he fares. And I don’t think that this is what the author intended.

Style:  12/20

  

The actual writing of the novel is not bad. The style of the sentences and paragraphs is good. But a more descriptive tone would probably have pushed it up a little bit. It did feel at times as if I was reading an account of what was happening line by line. Instead as a reader I want the atmosphere, the actions and the thoughts of the characters to be described so I can imagine the whole world in which the characters live in. This lessens the horror part of the book which could have been on the level of several well known horror books.

Another problem for me was the story within the story, element. It would have been a great story if either of the stories was picked up and ran in throughout the book. But unfortunately the author chose both and the books effectiveness is lost.

Spelling and Grammar:  20/20

I could not see any mistakes so there is nothing more that I can say.

Conclusion:  75/100

This is a book that has a great number of ideas but tries too hard to mesh them all together into a single storyline. This probably would have done better as two short novellas or novels but together they are damage the other. Saying that it is not a bad book and I would say that casual readers of horror may enjoy the book, but not those hard core horror fans or those who like to see the characters develop.

Buy The Legend of Rachel Petersen at Amazon.co.uk      Buy The Legend of Rachel Petersen at Amazon.com  

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